Have you ever found yourself saying, “I don’t want to,” when faced with a decision or a situation that felt uncomfortable? Maybe it was about a task you dreaded or an opportunity you didn’t feel ready for. Those simple words, “I don’t want to,” carry a lot more weight than we might realize. They allow us to slip into a mindset of resistance, creating a barrier between us and the natural flow of life. But have we ever stopped to ask ourselves: who is the “I” behind that statement, and what makes this resistance true?
It turns out that when we say “I don’t want to,” we’re often justifying a deeper fear or desire for control. It’s not about the task itself or the decision at hand, but about holding onto a sense of safety. We create stories to protect ourselves from discomfort, convincing ourselves that our preferences are absolute truths. Yet, this very act of resisting creates the discomfort we’re trying to avoid.
The River of Life: Moving Through Fear and Resistance
Imagine life as a river. It’s constantly moving, flowing forward with a natural rhythm. Now, imagine that resistance is like trying to paddle sideways or even backwards against the current. It takes effort, and the further you resist, the more exhausting it becomes. Fear, on the other hand, is like paddling in the opposite direction, trying to avoid the unknown future that the river is taking you toward.
But what happens when you stop resisting? When you stop paddling sideways or backwards, you begin to flow with the river’s current. The journey becomes smoother. Life still has twists and turns, but you’re no longer fighting it. You’re not clinging to the banks of fear or resistance; you’re moving with the natural current, trusting the river to carry you forward.
Letting go of resistance doesn’t mean letting go of your preferences entirely, nor does it mean accepting the opposite of what you fear. It means loosening your grip on needing things to be a certain way. It’s about finding freedom in the flow, knowing that life will take you where you need to go, even if it’s not where you expected.
A Realization of Control
We often believe that holding on tightly to our preferences keeps us in control. But in reality, clinging to those preferences is what keeps us stuck. A personal example comes to mind: think of a time when you were nervous about taking a risk—perhaps changing jobs or starting a new relationship. Fear might have whispered, “What if this doesn’t work out? I don’t want to take that chance.” But once you took the leap, more often than not, you discovered that things worked out in ways you couldn’t have planned. The fear melted away, and the unknown turned into something familiar.
That’s what happens when we stop saying “I don’t want to” and start embracing the flow. We let go of needing to control every outcome and open ourselves to the possibilities that life offers. It’s not about abandoning your desires, but about recognizing when they stem from fear rather than from a genuine place of alignment with life’s flow.
How to Melt Away the Lies of Resistance
This process of letting go can feel daunting, especially when it involves beliefs or preferences we’ve held for a long time. But the key is to start small:
- Question your preferences: When you catch yourself resisting something, ask, “Is this truly what I want, or is it a story I’m telling myself to avoid discomfort?”
- Experiment with letting go: Try letting go of one small preference and see how life unfolds. For example, instead of insisting that your day must go exactly as planned, allow some flexibility. Notice how that feels.
- Trust the flow: As you practice letting go, you’ll begin to see that life continues to carry you forward—even when you don’t control every detail. Trust grows when you see that letting go doesn’t mean chaos; it means ease.
- Face your fears gently: The deeper fears—the ones tied to your identity or relationships—may take more time to dissolve. But each time you face one, you’ll see that it’s not as powerful as you thought. The river is always there, ready to carry you once you release your grip.
Letting Go Is Not Surrendering Control
It’s important to remember that letting go isn’t about giving up on your desires or ambitions. It’s about not being rigidly attached to how things unfold. Life’s flow is dynamic, just like the river. It speeds up, slows down, curves, and straightens out, and when you move with it, you’re not losing control—you’re aligning with a deeper, more natural rhythm.
As we melt away the lies of “I don’t want to” and “I prefer,” we create space for truth—the truth that life is always moving, and we don’t need to resist its flow. When we let go of our need to control, we find ourselves in harmony with the current, moving forward with a sense of ease and freedom that fear once blocked.
By allowing ourselves to release these old beliefs, we give ourselves permission to live more fully. We stop fighting the river of life and, instead, learn to navigate it with trust. And as we do, we discover that life doesn’t need our resistance; it only needs our presence and our willingness to flow.
