There are moments in life when we wonder: what is “normal”? Is my way of thinking aligned with the world around me? These questions often arise when our thoughts seem at odds with those of others, or when we feel like we’re not fitting into the rhythm of everyday life. But when we dig deeper, we realize that the concept of normal is not as straightforward as it seems.
Think of normal as a kind of shared language—a way we make sense of the world together. But like any language, it’s not fixed. It shifts depending on who is speaking, where they come from, and what they’ve experienced. What is “normal” to one person might be foreign to another.
So how do you navigate this? How do you act in a way that aligns with others while staying true to yourself? It starts with a shift in focus, from trying to understand what’s normal in someone else’s mind, to understanding what’s underlying in every mind.
Imagine that everyone’s thoughts are like clouds in the sky. They’re constantly moving, changing shapes, forming and dissolving. If you focus only on the clouds, it’s easy to get lost, trying to predict the next change. But what if you shift your gaze and focus on the sky itself? The vast, steady space that holds all these clouds?
This sky is awareness. It’s the place where all thoughts come and go, but it doesn’t change with them. When you tap into this awareness, you find something much more reliable than fleeting ideas of normality. You find stillness—an anchor point that remains steady no matter what clouds pass through.
This is the place from which you can act and connect with others without getting lost in the details of their shifting thoughts. Instead of trying to mentally calculate how to fit into someone else’s “normal,” you act from a deeper place of understanding—a place that everyone shares, even if they don’t realize it.
Let’s use an analogy: Think of trying to match someone else’s rhythm, like walking in sync with them. If you focus only on their footsteps, it might feel forced or awkward. But if you instead focus on your own inner balance, you’ll find that you naturally fall into step, without overthinking it. It’s the same when you act from awareness rather than thought. You stop trying to mentally calculate how to respond to someone else’s subjective normal and instead act from a place of grounded calm. The connection happens organically.
This shift from focusing on thought to focusing on awareness is your guide—your compass for navigating all the subjective versions of normal you’ll encounter. It’s not something you think through; it’s something you feel, something that resonates in the stillness beneath the noise of thought. And when you’re rooted in that stillness, you’ll find that your actions are naturally aligned, even in a world full of subjective experiences.
So if you’re looking for the pointer, this is it: Look beyond the clouds of thought to the sky of awareness. From there, you don’t need to calculate every interaction, every thought. The answers will unfold naturally, like the quiet reflection on a still lake.
Finding harmony with others isn’t about figuring out their normal—it’s about finding your own stillness, your own clarity, and letting that guide you.
